Troy 1

I received some sad news Sunday night. My friend Troy from UMD died last month of colo-rectal cancer. He got sick in December, was diagnosed in January or February, and died April 2. It was very fast and very aggresive. His family and his partner were there with him to the end. I called his family Monday and spoke with his father and got all the details.

During my junior year in college, I was struggling with whether or not I was actually gay and the whole "coming out" issue and that's when I met Troy. We became quite close and I guess I would say he was my first boyfriend. It was with him I first realized I could have a deep and emotional/romantic relationship with another man. He was the first man I fell in love with and the first man I ever said "I love you" to.

I looked through my photo albums Monday afternoon and found a picture of Troy and I at a Dr. Who convention in Mpls (from 1986). I took it to Target that evening and made an enlargement and bought a frame for it. It's now sitting on the shelving unit next to my computer desk with other pictures of important people in my life.

I wish I'd known he was sick. I wish he'd called me. I wish I could have gone to the celebration of his life (his father told me Troy hadn't wanted a religious service or funeral--that is so like him. He was cremated and the family plan to scatter the ashes in Colorado--one of his favorite places--this summer).

We lost touch over the years, but I would still think of him often. So I think of him now and remember him the best I can.