I Just Know It

I am sitting in a dark movie theater. Even though my eyes are glued to the screen and my whole body is tense, I can feel Brian sitting to my right.

I am tense because I know, I just know, that Bigfoot is going to get the couple relaxing in their house onscreen. They can smell something odd and are hearing strange noises coming from outside. I am trying to telepathically warn them not to look out the window or open the door and go outside. But they are not listening to me. They're doomed. I just know it.

Brian does not seem as engrossed as I am. He is twelve, two years older than me. That makes him a "big kid". I worship Brian. He lives in the same town as my grandparents, while I live 185 miles away. I only get to see him when we come to visit Grandma and Grandpa. He always acts happy to see me and never treats me like a "little kid". He is fun and outgoing and has a huge smile (and huge front teeth, bordering on buck-teeth). He has lots of friends and I think he is cool. When I play with him, I feel cool too.

He asked me to go to the movies with him tonight. I was so excited he asked me. Dad let me go and that made me even more excited. We (meaning Dad) is on vacation and much relaxed, so I get to be a little spoiled. The movie is about Bigfoot and my excitement grows. It's a wonder my head doesn't explode from sheer joy.

As we waited outside the theater to be let in, Brian turned to me. "Now don't get scared. Bigfoot isn't real, it's just a movie. Don't be a baby." He tried to scold me to look cool in front of his two friends who joined us (I don't know them). It doesn't bother me because I can hear in his voice he doesn't mean it. He's just trying to tease me. But saying Bigfoot isn't real? Ha. Even big kids don't know everything. Oh, Bigfoot is real all right. I just know it.

The first part of the movie was about the Loch Ness Monster and the Abominable Snowman, but I don't remember any of it. That part just passed right past me. I am entranced with Bigfoot because he is here. He lives here, in the U.S. I have read all of the Bigfoot books my neighborhood library has on him, and there were a lot (I have a high reading level for a 10-year-old). He could be right here, in Minnesota.

The man on screen has gotten out of chair to investigate the strange noises. Despite my warning to him, he opens the door. And there is Bigfoot, filling the doorway looking back at the man. The man and his wife scream and girls in the audience scream and I scream too. Bigfoot is in that guy's house!

I feel my hand start to reach towards Brian's. I want him to protect me. He's a big kid, he won't let Bigfoot get me. I hear people in the audience laugh at the people who scream and I hear Brian laugh too. He turns to me and snickers. "I told you not to be scared."

My fright-adrenalin-rush has worn off and my hand returns to my lap. "I wasn't scared," I tell him defiantly. "All the people who screamed startled me." Brian turns back towards the screen with a small smile on his lips. I don't think he believes me.

We are standing outside waiting for my Dad to come get us after the movie and bring us home (Brian lives only a block away from Grandma and Grandpa). His friends have left in their own rides. It is a warm summer evening and the air is very still. Brian scolds me again for getting scared, but again I can tell he doesn't mean it. I think he finds it funny that I was scared. I know he will laugh, but he will be careful not to make me feel bad for being scared. Not because I am a little kid, but because he is cool.

Dad brings us home and I say goodnight to Brian as he walks towards his house. It is still warm and still, and now it is very quiet. Grandma and Grandpa live close to the commercial area where the movie theater is, but it is still on the edge of town. There is a big woody area behind their house. It stops the noises from downtown (and the other theater nearby, a drive-in) from penetrating this far.

I say goodnight to my parents, after telling Mom all about the great movie. I have figured out by now that it was just a very tall man in an orangutan monkey suit, but the image has stayed with me. I say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa, they are very old and I have never really felt close to them. Not like my other Grandma and Grandpa.

My younger sister is already in bed and asleep. I go into the bathroom and change into my pajamas. I run the water in the sink so Mom will think I am brushing my teeth (I hate brushing my teeth). I go pee, flush, and climb the stairs to the second floor to Uncle Jackie's bedroom. He is in his bed, sleeping. I crawl into "my" bed on the other side of the room. Mom comes up to tuck me in and open the window. It is very warm up here on the second floor, maybe a breeze will spring up in the night and cool it off.

I think about the movie and now that I am safe in bed and alone, laugh at myself for being scared. It was a very bad-looking orangutan monkey suit, but wow that first glimpse when you don't know what it is. I am glad I was able to spend time with Brian. I wonder what we will do tomorrow. Maybe we'll go to the swimming pool on the newer side of town and...

I wake with a start. I fell asleep but now I am awake and my blood is pumping, my heart is beating so fast. Something woke me. What? I look across the room and Uncle Jackie is still asleep in his bed. What was that? I hear something outside. The window is still open and I can hear it outside. Oh no.

I know what it is. Bigfoot. I just know it.

He's here. Outside the house. "Please..." I whisper. "Oh please no..."

I want to get out of bed and look out the window. But I know if I do that, he will be there, looking in back at me. He's out there looking for me and I don't dare look out the window. He'll see me and know where I am.

It doesn't matter that I am on the second floor, twenty feet or more off the ground. He is looking in the window at me right now. I pull the sheet over my head then reach down and pull up the blanket as well. Mom has folded the blanket down at the bottom of the bed because it is too hot tonight to sleep with it. I reach down, not looking, and in a lightning move pull the blanket up over my head. I have to do it fast or else Bigfoot will see me and maybe try to reach in through the window or even try to growl at me.

I am under the sheet and blanket. I am so hot and the sweat is pouring off me and it's hard to breathe. But I can't move and won't move because Bigfoot is right outside the window and he will see me. Mom and Dad will find me suffocated in the morning and they won't know what happened because Bigfoot will be long gone by then, laughing because he got me.

I try to whisper loudly for Uncle Jackie but he sleeps on and I try to whisper-yell for Mom but she is on the first floor and won't hear me and Bigfoot is looking at me through the window and he will get me and I don't know how he can look through a second floor window but it doesn't matter because he right there, right here.

At some point I fall asleep and wake up to the sun. I am covered only by the sheet so some self-preservation must have kicked in and kicked the blanket off. I laugh at myself for being so scared last night. It was the movie's fault, got me believing Bigfoot was here. Of course he wasn't here, he was too busy terrorizing campers up in the Pacific Northwest (an exotic sounding locale to my 10-year-old ears). Still, I don't think I will tell Brian. As cool as he is, this is make-fun-of worthy material. And besides, how could Bigfoot look in through a second story window? Did he have stilts?

I get up and go downstairs to see if we will have pancakes for breakfast. I like the way Grandpa cuts up my pancakes.

Oh, but I know he was here. I just know it.